Men urge men to stop domestic violence

When Matt Held -- the lead coordinator of undergraduate dormitories at Cornell -- was a boy, he came home from school one day to a scene he would never forget. In the kitchen, he saw his stepmother badly beaten by his father.

"It looked like she had gone 10 rounds with Muhammad Ali," he recalled. "It was shocking. It scared the hell out of me."

Abuse can become a family tradition, handed down from father to son. But the image of his stepmother's swollen face made him decide he would never inflict that kind of pain on another person. "I decided right then that I wasn't going to be like my father."

Now, as an adult, Held is a member of a labor and management committee promoting diversity, and has helped the organize skits and other events at Cornell about domestic violence.

Held is featured in a new booklet, "Stand-Up Guys," with five other men who have worked to help prevent violence against women and girls. Organized by Cornell ILR's director of workplace issues, K.C. Wagner, the brochure includes the men's real-life stories and shows "that any man who truly cares about the women and girls in his life can really make a difference," Wagner said.

There were more than 50,000 reported cases of domestic violence in New York state in 2006, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Most perpetrators and victims were members of the same family, and most victims were women or girls.

"Stand-Up Guys" supports two programs led by the ILR School and its strategic project partner Connect in New York City: the Domestic Violence Awareness and Workplace Empowerment Initiative, and Men and Women as Allies. The programs encourage employers, unions and local organizations that provide services to domestic abuse survivors to educate the public about work-related consequences of bullying, domestic and workplace violence. Organizations that fight violence against women and girls are distributing the booklet nationally. "Stand-Up Guys" was funded by a $100,000 grant from the New York State Department of Labor.

Wagner, as part of her work at ILR, examines how domestic violence and adult bullying manifest at work and what supervisors, colleagues and unions can do to help one another fight domestic violence.

Since the 1990s, Cornell's joint labor/management partnerships have played a strategic role in awareness and training campaigns, which have taken root in public- and private-sector businesses and organizations nationally, she said.

"Stand-Up Guys" is available online at http://www.ilr.cornell.edu/news/StandUpGuys111208.html. Free print copies are available to New York residents and organizations through Wagner at kcw8@cornell.edu.

Media Contact

Susan Kelley