Karl Pillemer

Professor of Psychology and of Gerontology in Medicine at Weill Cornell Medicine

Karl Pillemer, professor of human development at Cornell University and author of “Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them,” studies family estrangement and reconciliation. He offers insight into the family dynamics that may help explain the Sussexes' unexpected move.

Pillemer says:

“Our research consistently shows that serious illness is one of the most powerful catalysts for reconciliation. When a parent's mortality becomes real, adult children who have been estranged often find that the calculus changes completely. The question shifts from who was right to whether they want to be there at the end. Harry appears to be asking himself exactly that question.

“One of the most important findings from our research is that reconciliation is rarely total. Harry himself has acknowledged that some family members may never forgive him and that is consistent with what we see in ordinary families. A partial reconciliation, with some members but not others, is still a reconciliation worth having. The relationship with his father appears to be the one he most wants to repair, and that is worth pursuing even if the relationship with his brother remains broken.

“The people who reconciled in our study consistently cited grandchildren as a powerful force pulling families back together. The desire for children to know their grandparents, and in this case their heritage and culture, is one of the most common reasons people finally make the move toward repair.”