Lindsay France/University Photography

Brian Patchcoski, associate dean and director of the Cornell LGBT Resource Center, speaks Jan. 29 at Sage Chapel as part of the Soup and Hope Lecture Series.

An audience of more than 100 braved a bitterly cold winter day to warm up with a bowl of soup and words of hope from Brian Patchcoski, associate dean and director of the Cornell LGBT Resource Center, Jan. 29 in Sage Chapel.

“Hope is about creating the world we want to see – now,” Patchcoski said, in sharing his “unexpected and unanticipated” journey toward finding and affirming community.

Growing up in an Irish Catholic family, Patchcoski first learned to value community through his work in a local parish, leading him to study at a seminary to become a Roman Catholic priest. He also became involved with a long-term care facility and hospice. “It was those experiences … that furthered my interest in working with and supporting people – in the good and challenging points of life – through ministry,” he said. When the seminary closed, Patchcoski opted for undergraduate study in a secular institution rather than transferring to another seminary that seemed remote from the sense of community he valued.

“I saw and continue to see ministry as ‘being with people’ and walking closely with those people in whatever life experiences they may be encountering,” he said. “For me, the messages in the gospels were about community.”

After leaving seminary, Patchcoski was challenged by his growing understanding of his sexual identity as a gay man and struggled with reconciling that identity with his religious beliefs and everything he had been taught by the church and his family. “I was not sure if the church that I had placed so much of my own passion and energy into had a space for me any longer,” he said.

But he found a support system, and eventually named himself a member of the LGBTQ community, even coming out to his mother. He went to other churches and found he was not alone in trying to find a place as a gay man in a religious community. His graduate studies focused on religion, spirituality, sexuality and gender issues, and he started consulting with various churches, working to help their members become welcoming and hospitable to those different from themselves. He also resumed his work in hospice.

Through all these challenges, Patchcoski rediscovered his passion for working with communities, helping people explore their identities, challenge the barriers they encounter and celebrate “their whole selves.”

“We all have the right to be treated with respect by everyone at all times,” he said. “We all have the right to be listened to and have our thoughts and opinions taken seriously, whoever we are and whatever identities we hold. We all have the right to establish and maintain our own boundaries … We all have the right to thrive.”

Last November, Patchcoski celebrated his whole self in yet another unanticipated way, marrying the man he loves, surrounded by friends and family.

Leading Cornell’s LGBT Resource Center is Patchcoski’s current ministry, “where hope is for me in the present moment,” he said. When he was studying to be a priest, he never imagined doing the work he does now, he said, but “every student, staff and community person’s story – from every place I have been and have worked – has changed me. They have challenged me to love more, to live more and to hope for a better world.”