Although self-help organizations have long suspected that "it takes one to help one" might be true, new Cornell University research shows that social contact with people who have been through the same life change crisis are, by far, the most helpful.

In fact, the more people you know who have been through the same stressful experience, such as widowhood, divorce, or caring for an ill relative, the less likely you are to be depressed. And the more stressful the crisis, the greater the benefits of knowing people who have been through a similar situation.

"Although support from people who are similar to you in general characteristics, such as age, education, marital status and socioeconomic background, are helpful to some extent, talking with people who are 'experientially' similar is by far a greater source of support," said Karl Pillemer, Cornell associate professor of human development and family studies in the College of Human Ecology.

With Jill Suitor, a sociologist at Louisiana State University, Pillemer has looked at the effectiveness of friends and siblings in providing support to caregivers of relatives with Alzheimer's disease. Their findings are reported in the September and November issues of Journal of Gerontology: Social Sciences and the September issue of the American Journal of Alzheimer's Disease.

Pillemer notes that while researchers have argued for a long time that social support is important to people trying to cope with a crisis, few have looked at whether it makes a difference who provides that support.

"Our findings suggest strongly that it matters a lot," said Pillemer, whose studies are among the first to empirically test the notion that experientially similar others provide substantial benefits for individuals undergoing chronic stress.

"People who are experientially similar appear to be much more supportive and much less critical than others. These findings are consistent with research on other life course transitions, such as Suitor's work on women in mid-life returning to college," Pillemer said. He points out that similar findings also have emerged from research on catastrophic life events, such as life-threatening illnesses.

To examine patterns of social support and interpersonal stress, Pillemer and Suitor looked at data on 254 individuals caring for a relative with Alzheimer's disease and 2,659 members of their social networks in one study; the second study looked at 57 married daughters who were primary caregivers to a parent with Alzheimer's disease and 1,069 members of their social networks over a two-year period. They found that:

The more the respondents knew other caregivers, the lower their depression scores.

• The more stressful the caregiving situation, the greater the beneficial effect of knowing other caregivers.
• Other caregivers helped boost the mental health of the respondents by being more supportive and less stressful to the caregivers. They were both more helpful in providing concrete assistance, such as help with respite care of shopping, as well as emotional support.
• Siblings of the caregivers, on the other hand, were good sources of practical help early in the caregiving career but emerged as the greatest source of interpersonal stress.
• Over the two-year period, the benefits of social support from other caregivers grew less powerful as caregivers became more adept at their new role and better at explaining their situation to others. Thus, similar others are most critical in the early stages of a life crisis.

The research was supported in part by grants from the National Institute of Mental Health and the National Institute on Aging.

To apply the findings to help caregivers, Pillemer has teamed up with the Alzheimer's Disease Assistance Center at the State University of New York-Health Sciences Center in Syracuse and the Alzheimer's Association of Central New York to launch a unique one-on-one peer support project that matches experienced Alzheimer's caregivers with current caregivers. Pairs are matched by gender and by their relationship to the Alzheimer's patient.

"We give the volunteers a one-day training in empathic listening skills and activities for the volunteer and caregiver to share," Pillemer said. The goal of the project, which is funded by the National Institute on Aging, is to boost the psychological morale and reduce the social isolation and depression of current caregivers, and enhance their use of formal services.