Every person's odyssey to sexual awareness is different. But for a gay, lesbian, transgendered or bisexual teen-ager, disclosing his or her sexual preferences to parents is a particularly difficult milestone.

How to navigate this issue, whether a parent, adolescent or therapist, is the focus of a new book., Mom, Dad. I'm Gay. How Families Negotiate Coming Out (American Psychological Association, 2001) by Ritch C. Savin-Williams, Cornell University professor of human development and a licensed clinical psychologist. The author takes a three-prong approach to the experience of "coming out of the closet." He not only draws on interviews with 164 young men and women, but also discusses his perspectives and experiences as a clinical and developmental psychologist who specializes in sexual minority issues. In addition, he incorporates insights derived from empirical studies as he documents the wide variety of experiences that young people have when they reveal their sexual orientation to their parents.

"One of the most striking developments during the past few years has been a lowering of the age at which youths disclose their sexual orientation to parents and the fact that more sexual-minority youths disclose to family members while still living at home than ever before. Adolescents are coping with family reactions earlier, more immediately and for longer periods of time than those who grew up during any previous generation," says Savin-Williams, whose research focuses on the psychological well-being of gay, lesbian and bisexual youths and adults. He is the author of. . . And Then I Became Gay: Young Men's Stories (Routledge Publishers, 1997) and co-editor of the first college text on lesbians, gays and bisexuals, The Lives of Lesbians, Gays and Bisexuals: Children to Adults (Harcourt Brace, 1996).

"This book, therefore, explores issues such as how do sexual-minority youth decide when and whether to reveal their sexual identities to their parents? What's involved in negotiating this new identity with parents? And just how common are the coming out 'horror stories' published in the popular press," says Savin-Williams.

Intended for sexual-minority youths, their families and counselors who work with sexual minorities, the 275-page book focuses on the individuality and uniqueness of the youths' personal stories. Savin-Williams says that the "coming out" experience is largely influenced by gender, and he therefore devotes separate chapters to daughters and mothers, daughters and fathers, sons and mothers, and sons and fathers. Savin-Williams also offers many practical suggestions and advice on how youths, parents and helping professionals can negotiate healthy relationships between sexual-minority youths and family members.

"This is an excellent overview of issues facing lesbian, gay and bisexual youths in the coming out process. Savin-Williams has masterfully combined interviews with teen-agers, and research findings to craft the best guidelines for coming out that I've ever seen," says Esther Rothblum, professor of psychology at the University of Vermont. "The book includes coming out to mothers and fathers, respectively, by daughters and sons, respectively. I wish I had had such a book when I was coming out."

"Savin-Williams' data and scholarly analysis provide keen insights, not only into the problems faced by youth, but also into their positive coming out experiences and their resilience in overcoming stigma," says Gregory Herek, professor of psychology at the University of California- Davis. "This is an important book, one that enriches our understanding of families, human development and the social dimensions of sexual orientation."

The book is fully footnoted, indexed and includes sections on developmental processes among sexual minorities. It also provides suggestions for a research agenda.