Millions of grandparents are doing it all over again: raising children. But raising grandchildren is much harder than the first time around. Grandparents have lower energy levels; their discipline techniques can be outdated; their adult children often have serious problems; and orphaned grandchildren suffer from profound grief.

But help is available with Cornell Cooperative Extension's (CCE) "Parenting a Second Time Around" (PASTA), a program that provides support, parenting skills and critical legal information and communication skills to grandparents as well as other relatives raising children.

This award-winning, 200-page curriculum, developed by retired Cornell human development faculty member Jennifer Birckmayer, has been so successful in New York state's Orange County that the full program will soon expand to additional counties in the Hudson Valley, thanks to a recent grant of almost $162,000 from the New York State Office of Children and Family Services.

The program is used in one form or another in more than a dozen New York counties and two dozen states, including three states that use it statewide, says Denyse Variano, a senior extension resource educator at CCE-Orange County, who helped co-author the curriculum with Birckmayer and two colleagues in consultation with Susan Hicks and Herb Engman, Cornell human development faculty members. PASTA is part of the "Relatives as Parents Program," which serves some 240 families.

"It has been incredibly successful," Variano says. "That's because more grandparents than ever -- as well as other relatives -- are parenting, regardless of legal custody status, and often feel isolated and conflicted about parenting again. They say, 'It wasn't supposed to be like this.' The workshops are intended to build a sense of confidence and comfort for those moving into a parenting role anew."

And many are: Nationally, some 4.5 million children are living in grandparent-headed homes, a 30 percent increase from 1990, according to the 2000 U.S. Census; that's more than 6 percent of U.S. children. Reasons for the growing trend include parents unable to raise their children because of drugs, alcohol and mental health problems, incarceration, divorce, child abuse and neglect, teen pregnancy, poverty, HIV/AIDS, domestic violence, military deployment and death.

"We thought we were the only grandparents doing this," said Bill O'Toole, a retired technical office worker in Chester, N.Y. He and his wife have been raising their granddaughter, now 13, since she was 3. Although his son tried to make a family after he and his girlfriend had a child when they were both 19, he was an alcoholic and his girlfriend was involved with gangs. The senior O'Tooles became involved with CCE's kincare program when it started eight years ago, and they still attend monthly meetings. "It helps to meet other grandparents in the same position and share our stories. I've also gotten great advice there," O'Toole said.

About two-thirds of the 2.4 million seniors raising their children's children do so informally, with no legal standing. "Grandparents raising grandchildren also face numerous other challenges, including an increased risk for poverty, physical challenges themselves and caring for children with disabilities," said Rachel Dunifon, associate professor of policy analysis and management at Cornell who specializes in family policy and consults with CCE on the project.

PASTA, which was pilot tested in four states before it was published and won top honors for an educational curriculum from the National Extension Association of Family and Consumer Sciences in 2003, covers child development, authoritative discipline, rebuilding a family, legal issues (such as custody, visitation and child support) and advocacy, mental health concerns (such as dealing with adult children's anger or addiction), how to discuss sensitive issues (such as abandonment, drug addiction and incarceration) and how to access legal, medical, social and educational services.

Copies of the PASTA curriculum, which was co-authored by Isabelle Jensen of CCE-Ontario County and Jan Cohen of CCE-Broome County, are for sale from Cornell's Resource Center.