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Softened phrasing helps make deals, research reveals

New ILR School research shows that one way to be assertive while reducing the chance of a no-deal outcome is to “soften” your speech with linguistic hedges, to speak “politely.” 

“People often think of politeness as signaling weakness or inviting a partner to be assertive, but this paper demonstrates that it significantly lowers the risk that a partner walks, and it does so without inviting assertive counteroffers,” said Alice J. Lee, assistant professor of organizational behavior at the ILR School. “For this reason, we propose it is the optimal approach. The potential risk is vastly outweighed by the benefits.”

She is the lead author of “Hedging First Offers Permits Assertiveness While Lowering Risk a Partner Walks,” published Dec. 18 in “Social Psychological and Personality Science.” Co-authors are Malia F. Mason, a Columbia Business School professor,  and Claire S. Malcomb, an ILR doctoral student. 

The findings are relevant to many scenarios, from buying and selling houses to salary negotiations to buying an antique guitar on Facebook Marketplace, Lee said.

“When you state an offer politely by incorporating hedges, you are perceived as more open and respectful. Those impressions matter. Softening proposals helps get the conversation started, and fewer people walk away,” she said.

Read the full story on the ILR website.

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